


Better Late, Than Never

by gatergirl79



Series: Unrequited Sabriel [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Death, Episode Related, Episode: s05e04 The End, Future Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-01
Updated: 2013-05-01
Packaged: 2017-12-10 02:25:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/780696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gatergirl79/pseuds/gatergirl79
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of 5x04. With Dean and Cass gone, Gabriel decided to pay a visit to his brother, and is given one last moment with the hunter he wasn't brave enough to sacrifice everything for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better Late, Than Never

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Set in the Season five, episode four: The End, in the future universe where the devil rules the world.  
> Also Special thanks to my Beta Saysesydo. You’re the best. Any remaining grammar/spelling mistakes are mine and mine alone.  
> [Sabriel - Better Late, Than Never Cover](http://gatergirl79.deviantart.com/art/Sabriel-Better-Late-Than-Never-Cover-356962251) by ~[Gatergirl79](http://gatergirl79.deviantart.com/) on [deviantART](http://www.deviantart.com)
> 
> Unrequited Sabriel Tumblr page - https://www.tumblr.com/blog/unrequited-sabriel

Gabriel stood in the garden face to face with his brother, only it wasn't his brother's face that was staring back at him. It was Sam Winchesters. Sam's hazel eyes, so like his brother, Dean's. His long light brown hair blowing gently in the wind. His never ending frame standing there smelling the roses like he didn't have a cared in the world. Anyone who didn't know better would honestly think it was Sam.

"Bit late aren't you brother?" it was even Sam's voice.

Gabriel flinched. He was too late, he'd had the chance to step in, to stop all of this but he'd been too stubborn, too scared. There was no way he was getting involved, no matter what and it hadn't just destroyed the world, it had lost Sam his life. - Or at least his free will.

The man had stupidly thought he could win, that he would be able to fight the monster from within; it was the biggest mistake Sam had ever made. And now Gabriel was face to face with that mistake.

"So you've finally come out of the wood work, took you long enough."

The ex-archangel-turned-trickster just stood there. He didn't even know why he'd bothered. Why he'd come now. Five years too late. But something had just told him that this was the time.

"So how's life as a human treating you baby brother?"

Gabriel wrinkled his nose. He'd lost his powers a few years ago, after heaven cut all ties with earth.

"You know I can give them back. - Well, maybe not back, but I can give you power again."

It hurt to listen to his brother's words coming from the young man's lips. Gabriel swallowed hard. "And why would you do that?"

"You're my brother. I miss you."

The ex-archangel scoffed at that. Lucifer and he had never exactly gotten on, not like Lucifer and Michael. "I find that hard to believe."

Lucifer rolled Sam's eyes and strolled around the garden silently. The quiet was eerie; there wasn't a single sound, not even a bird. The world was dead for all intense and purposes. Overrun with demons and Croatians. It was a shadow of what his father had created, this garden the last bright light in existence. There were only a handful of surviving souls still clinging onto what was left of the crumbling paradise. But soon they would be gone too, without Dean and Castiel. Gabriel glanced up at the large building where his fallen brother's empty vessel lay, rotting in the dark. The angel's soul, like so many others banished to purgatory for eternity, because heaven had turned their backs.

"You know Michael's vessel is dead." Lucifer said, both confirming what Gabriel already knew and gloating.

"His _name_ was Dean. - Does Sam know?" Gabriel asked with a tight harsh tone.

Lucifer feigned a pitiful frown. "It would not be far to keep such information from him. - But do not worry brother, he did not witness the things execution."

Gabriel's stomach clenched tight at his brothers dismissive tone. Dean wasn't a thing, and neither was Sam.

"So, why are you here?" Lucifer asked intrigued.

Gabriel took a deep breath and revealed the short silver sword, the only one he had now that he as human. Lucifer laughed coldly. "A little late don't you think? - Besides, we both know you can't kill me, not like this."

Gabriel glared as his brother ran his fingers down his body, his own fingers tightening around the hilt of the blade painfully. "This isn't for you."

Lucifer looked at him with a mixture of confusion and mirth. "Suicide's a sin you know?"

The shorter man shrugged. "It's not like they're going to let me back upstairs' anyway."

Lucifer continued to pace around his fallen brother. "I supposed the blade's out of sentimentality?"

Another shrug.

The devil was silent for a long while, just watching his brother with curious eyes. Taking in the stiffness of his posture, the dullness of his eyes, the sadness in them. Sensing the wariness and the pain. - And the love. A smile crept over his face, cruel and with false sympathy. "So what are you waiting for?" the fallen archangel turned king of hell asked from behind his brother.

Gabriel didn't know, the plan had been so simple in his head, so easy. He was going to take one last look at Sam and then end it. But now, stood there, he wasn't sure he could do it. He shivered visibly when he felt Lucifer's breath on the back of his neck.

"He doesn't know." he whispered; stating the blindingly obvious.

Gabriel's insides clenched tight, his now human heart pounding uncontrollably against his ribs, flinching at the bark of laughter his brother let out.

"He doesn't feel the same, you know." Lucifer whispered.

"I know."

The devil smirked coldly, Gabriel could hear it in his voice when he spoke. "He actually hates you."

Gabriel nodded, he knew that too.

"And yet you're here. For what?"

"One last glance." Gabriel confessed softly. "I needed to know what I'm doing is right."

"So you just wanted to see this face one last time." Lucifer chuckled, strolling around to face the shorter man, his fingers stroking provocatively over his vessel's cheek. "How….human." he said with visible disgust.

Gabriel gave a nonchalant lift of his right shoulder. "It's what I am now isn't it?"

The devil shook his head, looking his brother from top to toe and back again. "And to think once you were as strong and loyal as Michael and I."

"I'm still loyal, and strong. - It takes an unbelievable amount of strength to do what I've come here to do."

Lucifer shook his head. "You're a fool." he sighed.

"Probably."

They were silent for a few moments, then Lucifer turned to him. "You're a fool Gabriel, but you're still my brother."

"You won't stop me Lucifer. I'm determined to do this." he said shakily.

Lucifer gave a wary sigh. "I can tell."

Gabriel looked at Sam's face. If he looked hard enough, close enough he could see the young hunter in there, buried deep down, away from the pain and misery of this world. It hurt to look and Gabriel dropped his gaze, staring down at the silver blade, tears burning the back of his eyes and throat. His fingers so tight around it his knuckles were white.

Lucifer huffed in frustration. "If you wanted to avoid this." he gestured around himself and the crumbling planet. "Why didn't you step in before? Why not tell them what was happening?"

Gabriel didn't answer straight away because he didn't have one to give. He had no idea why. He used to tell himself it was because he didn't want to get involved and then that it was what his father wanted, so that's how it had to be. But the truth was fear. Fear of his own weakness. His own feelings.

It had been so much more simple when he hadn't felt a thing, when Sam Winchester was just a name carved in stone somewhere. Before he became all too real. Gabriel sighed. He guessed he really was a coward.

Lucifer shook his head once more, straightening his suit. "You don't deserve this Gabriel." the fallen archangel whispered. "You betrayed us all."

The shorter man looked up to meet his brother's gaze. "What, death?"

Lucifer smiled. "I mean the gift I'm about to give you."

Gabriel frowned with confusion and fear. Would his brother take the task from his hands? "What gift?"

The devil dropped his head pitiful, as if the ex-archangel had lost his wits as well as his grace. "You always were slow Gabriel." he gave a dramatic sigh. "I'll let you say goodbye, a few moments."

Gabriel glared at his brother uncertainly. "You mean you'll let me talk to Sam?"

Lucifer shrugged. "It's easy enough to give him control for a few moments but you won't like what he'd got to say."

Gabriel's heart skipped and his breath caught in his throat. He swallowed hard, stepping forward. "Why? Why give me anything?"

Lucifer straightened his cuffs. "I've won." he replied simply, glanced around the grey world. "Why not. - Call it a moment of brotherly affection."

Gabriel hardly dared to speak or move, fearing the older angel would change his mind. He held his breath as he watched the light fill Sam's eyes, humanity pouring back into them. He took a few more steps forward, staring up at the giant hunter, his arms reaching out when Sam staggered as he took back control of his body. "Sam?"

Sam continued to sway on his feet for a few more moments, blinking and looking around, taking in the difference of the world. Everything was dull and grey and there was silence. He began to remember things, things Lucifer wanted him to remember and his chest tightened as pain rippled through him. Dean was dead, Cass and Bobby too. He was alone now. Tears pooled in his eyes and he blinked them back, before allowing himself to focus on the figure before him. "Trickster?"

Gabriel smiled up at him sadly. "Not exactly."

Sam glared at him; irritated, in no mood for the God's riddles.

"I'm Gabriel." the ex-archangel interrupted.

Sam's brows drew together in confusion. "Huh?"

"Gabriel. Not the Trickster."

Sam was still frowning causing Gabriel to roll his eyes with a smile. "Archangel, Sammy. Well, _ex_ archangel actually." he shrugged as if his fall in status meant nothing. Which in comparison to what he'd already lost it really wasn't all that important.

Sam gapped at him. "Are you….serious?" he asked cautiously.

"fraid so." Gabriel gave a soft laugh.

Anger passed over Sam's face. "So what, you're Lucifer's wingman?"

Gabriel chucked again. "Pun intended?"

Sam glared and Gabriel gave a wary sigh.

"If you mean am I on his side? No."

"So what are you here?" Sam continued to glare at him suspiciously.

Gabriel glanced down his feet. "I came…." he trailed. What was he meant to tell the young man? That he was there because he just needed to see him one last time. He could just imagine how that was going to go down.

"All this time you've been an archangel?" Sam snapped, not caring about Gabriel's answer. "You could have stopped this." he shouted, gesturing around him.

The fallen archangel took a few more steps forward, glad that Sam didn't back down or away. "I tried Sam. I told you your path of vengeance was going to end bloody, but you didn't listen." He sighed warily.

"You _didn_ _'_ _t_ say anything about Lucifer." Sam snapped.

Gabriel shrugged nonchalantly. "Would you have believed me if I had?"

Sam opened his mouth to argue before snapping it closed again.

They stood in silence for a few minutes before Sam spoke again. "So….why are you here?" he asked once more, this time expecting an answer.

"I'm tired. I want to end it but I waned to see you first." he answered honestly.

Sam grew still; his gaze burning into the shorter man with uncertainty. "What?" he dragged the word out nervously. "Why?"

Gabriel gave a huff of laughter and shook his head. "For so many reasons. Guilty, shame, anger. - But mostly…" he trailed off for a second, taking a shaky breath. If this was going to be the last time he saw Sam, he may as well tell him the whole truth, what was the worst that could happen. Swallowing hard he raised his amber eyes to meet Sam's hazel ones. "Do you know when we first met Sam?" he asked in a radical change of subject.

Sam's brows drew together as he answered. "When you killed a load of people at State University."

Gabriel smiled on shook his head. "Nope. What to try again?"

Sam thought back, running a hand through his longish hair. "I…think I'd remember if I'd met you before that."

"1997." Gabriel provided.

"What?" Sam shakes his head disbelieving.

"1997. You and Me. New York. Lincoln High School."

Sam stood shock still thinking. He didn't remember the Trickster, Gabriel, whoever working at Lincoln High. But then he hadn't really been paying much attention to the staff, he hadn't been paying much attention to anything except Katherine. - Even once she'd stopped paying attention to him."

Gabriel sighed; shaking his head sadly. Of course Sam wouldn't remember, why would he? He hadn't been himself. He hadn't been wearing the face he wore now. Taking a deep reassuring breath, because this was where things were going to get complicated, awkward and more than likely a bit violent. "Katherine Graves." he murmured.

Sam's breath caught in his throat, along with his heart. The seriousness in the smaller man's eyes sending a chill through him. "What…..What about….her?" he stuttered, hoping that what he was suddenly think wasn't what the angel actually meant. He remembered Katherine better than any of the few girls he'd known during his school years. Katherine had been the first girl he'd kiss. She'd been reluctant to get to know him, but he'd won her over eventually.

His stomach rolled at the memory of the fun easy going girl who'd made him laugh and had helped him settle into his fifth High School in two months. He'd loved her, in that teenage way. She couldn't have been the man stood in front of him now. It wasn't possible. He shook his head in denial.

"Yep, you've got it kiddo." Gabriel murmured softly; trying not to feel hurt or insulted by the green colour that slowly appeared in the man's features. "Why else do you think I've taken such an interest in you over the years? Why do you think I tried to stop this? Believe me, it wasn't out of love for humanity. - It was out of lo…."

" _Don_ _'_ _t_!" Sam snapped; holding up his hand to silence him. "Don't say it. - I'm going to be sick."

"Gee thanks." Gabriel groaned; turning his back to the giant in an unfashionable and extremely creepy white suit.

Sam turned his own back, running his hand through his hair again. "This isn't real." he whispered. "This is Lucifer playing tricks. - You're _not_ real."

"And why would he do that? He's already got your ass." Gabriel snapped angrily.

"For the fun of it. He went through my memories and pulled up one of my few happy one and fuck it up by adding the person I hate most."

Gabriel spun around to stare at Sam's back; looking of both physically pained and insulted. "Well, fuck you very much, Winchester. - I would have thought the person you hated most was that bitch of a demon who led you here in the first place. - You know? The one you picked over your own brother because she was letting you fuck her like some ten dollar whore you picked up on some street corner!" Gabriel replied harshly; knowing he was sounding like a jealous ex, which in a way he was.

Sam's back stiffed and Gabriel mirrored the younger man's nervous gesture by running his hand through his hair. "Sam." he sighed miserably. "Can we not fight."

Sam turned slowed; fixing the archangel with a hard dangerous look, his brows knitted together tight. He wasn't sure how he felt. "How long?" he asked, trying to cling to his denial.

"What?"

"How long were you….Katherine?"

Gabriel met the giants gaze. "Since the moment we met till the day after you kissed me." he answered calmly.

Sam felt his heart clenched painfully, his stomach rolling once again. It had been so long since he'd actually felt anything at all, trapped for too many years behind the walls Lucifer had built around him that everything felt a thousand times more intense. His mind was still unfocused and nothing was quiet making sense, least of all this. But a realisation was at the back of his mind. He'd always wondered why Kathy had stopped talking to him all of a sudden. He'd figured back then that he'd over stepped a line. Now of course it made sense, because it hadn't been Kathy, not the real Katherine Graves. She'd merely been the tricksters/archangel's meat suit and he found that so much more infuriating than the idea that he'd actually kissed the man in front of him. "So she was…? Did she…?"

"You know how it works Sammy…."

" _Stop_ calling me that!" he yelled furiously.

Gabriel inhales slowly through his nose, closing his eyes briefly. "She knew what she was getting into. - Mostly."

"So it was _all_ you?" he asked in a surprisingly small voice for such a big man.

Gabriel nodded.

Gabriel watched him closely. He had no idea why his brother was giving him this. What did he expect to get out of it? Not that Gabriel was complaining, he waited five plus years to face this particular demon. "I get your pissed Sam."

" _Pissed_!" the large Winchester yelled. "I'm _way beyond_ piss."

Gabriel sucked in a breath and took a step forward, ignoring the pain in his chest when Sam stepped away. "I tried to stay away from you, but you wouldn't have it. You were determined to be my knight in shining armour, riding in to rescue me, even when I didn't need rescuing. I was fine until I met you. I was happily hiding away from the world, from my family, teaching arrogant bastards lessons in karmic justice, fooling around were I could, then bam! You went and fell into my life. You think I wanted that? You think I wanted you to be sweet and funny and smart and adorable? You were just meant to be a name, you and your jerk brother were just meant to be future vessels, nothing more. - You think I _wanted_ to care for you? _Love_ you?" Gabriel said in a rush of emotion he hadn't felt before falling.

Sam stared at the trickster/archangel with wide eyes. "What did you say?" he couldn't help the humour in his words. It was all so ridiculous.

Gabriel glared dangerously. "Nothing." he shook his head, turning away wishing his brother back.

"Did you say you _loved_ me?"

Gabriel clenched his jaw tight, staring down at the angel blade he'd completely forgotten about. He should do it now. Just finished it before he said something else he'll regret. His fingers flexed around the cool metal. His palm covered with nervous sweat, though whether it was caused by the current conversation or what he was going to do, he couldn't tell. It was probably a little bit of both. He pulled his chapped bottom lip though his teeth, wishing he had the power to vanish like he used to, or better yet just wipe this whole conversation from existence. Except he wasn't the same man/angel he used to be. Like baby brother Castiel he picked the side of humanity, or more precisely the side of the Winchesters and paid for it. And neither of them where happy with their lot. Cass had become a broken shell of his former self at the hands of Dean, while _he_ , well he'd had to carry on day after day with the knowledge he could have stopped all of this with a single word. A single action. He scratched at his beard with his free hand, sighing at his own stupidity, fear and cowardice.

"You look different." Sam whispered.

"I'm not wearing a fourteen year old." the ex-angel joked blandly.

"I meant from last time we met."

Gabriel smirked a little, remembering the endless Tuesday's. That had been his fork in the road, the moment when he could have saved the world but he'd taken the wrong path. - They both had.

"You look….tired." Sam said and Gabriel could almost see the confused frown at his back.

"I am. So very tired. - I don't like this mortality thing."

"What?"

Gabriel finally turned back to meet Sam's hazel eyes. "I'm not an angel anymore. A god either. I'm just pain old mortal Gabriel. No powers, no future. Nothing but tiredness."

Sam wasn't sure how he was meant to react to that piece of news, or to anything he'd heard so far. It had been hard enough for his mind to get around the thought that the first girl he'd kissed had actually been an angel in sheep's clothing, now said angel was mortal and looking at him in a way he wasn't sure he was comfortable with. He knew that look, he'd seen it in Jess' eyes a thousand times. He swallowed against the skip of his heart and the ache in his chest at the memory of his dead girlfriend. "I'm sorry."

Gabriel shrugged. "What goes around comes around." he murmured wisely.

Sam nodded because he couldn't think of anything else to say or do. That was when he finally caught sight of the gleaming silver in the man's hand. "What is that for?" he asked nervously.

The shorter man lifted his hand, turning the blade this way and that. "Like I said, I'm tired."

Sam took enough steps forward to put him in front of the ex-angel. "You can't!" he snapped, a sudden rise of panic in his chest and his voice. His mind a whirl of confusion.

"Aww that's sweet Sammy, but I don't exactly have any other choice. Look at this place." he waved an arm around him. "It's not exactly the same world you left."

Guilt rushed into Sam's eyes and Gabriel reached out without thinking, his hand squeezing the wide shoulder.

""This wasn't meant to happen." Sam heard himself mumble.

"I know."

"I can't believe I screwed up….. _again_." the last surviving Winchester said with a tight emotion fill voice. "And it wasn't just Dean who paid for it this time, it was the world."

Gabriel's heart tightened at the sight of the tears pooling in the young man's eyes, knowing the guilt and self-hatred he was feeling because he felt it too. "Sam it, this, is as much mine and Dean's fault as it is yours. - Hell, I'd even go as far as to say Cassie could take a bit of the credit."

Sam shook his head disbelievingly. "I let him out."

"Dean broke the first seal." Gabriel countered.

"I said yes."

" _I_ said nothing."

"I didn't listen to Dean."

"Dean didn't listen to Cass."

Sam was fighting to win this argument, to take all the blame but Gabriel wasn't going to let that happen.. "If I'd have stayed with him, if I hadn't gone all poor me and split, Lucifer wouldn't have been able to convince me…."

Gabriel took another step forward, closing the personal space between them, his hand tightening on the sleeve. "Lucifer used your weakness against you, that's what he does. It was never going to be easy to win, this place was always going to suffer, no matter what any of us did. You tried to stop that, you just didn't….. _think_."

Sam glanced down at him, anger and guilt battling behind his eyes. "But at least Dean would be…." Sam swallowed his tears.

"You don't know that. We might have all died painfully. - I sure as hell would have."

"I didn't even get to say goodbye. I just had to watch from behind my own eyes as he…."

"Shh." Gabriel hushed tearfully. "I'm sorry he made you watch that."

"Was he…..happy? - At least for a while?" Sam asked stupidly.

Gabriel looked up at him confused for a second. "Oh, honestly? What the hell do you think? His brother became the devil, his surrogate father was killed by Croats and his _'_ _best friend_ _'_ …" he winked. "…turned into a drug dependant slut because he just could see fit to actually admit his feelings. - So yeah Sammy, he was over the moon."

Sam groaned; hanging his head miserably. He had wanted the lie, wanted to pretend that his decision hadn't been a complete disaster. So leave it to the ex-archangel-trickster to tell him the brutally honest truth. Sam sucked in a breath as he felt fingers running gently through his hair, swallowing hard and unable to stop himself leaning into it. He let his back curve so he's hanging head could rest on the shorter man's shoulder, his eyes closed, hearing the sharp intake of breath Gabriel took.

The ex-angel's heartbeat hitched at the weight on his shoulder and the smell of Sam so close to him. He'd given into years of temptation when he'd reached out for him and this was his reward. - Or maybe it was his punishment, he really couldn't tell.

They were silent, neither speaking and it was bizarre and awkward, and yet at the same time comforting and warm, like they had more of a history than a hundred Tuesdays and three days of pranks. Sam wondered if what he was feeling was some kind of latent emotion from the fallen archangel he knew was hidden in the back of his mind just waiting for the moment when he could rip back control and finish his path of destruction.

 _Or maybe_ what he was feeling where remembered emotions of his own, seventeen years in the making. He honestly couldn't tell but this was the first really human contact he'd had in five years and the first trace of genuine attachment and emotion in seven. And the world had ended and his brother was dead and he was going to spend eternity - Or however long it took Lucifer to get bored of wearing him to the prom. - behind an enforced wall of silence, so what did any of it really matter?

Sam whispered _'it didn't matter'_ over and over in his head as he turned it slightly into the ex-archangel's neck, taking a deep inhale and finding his stomach flip at the remembered scent of honey-sweetness and fresh-air, something he'd never been close enough to smell on the man before now.

Gabriel had said he was tired, well so was Sam. He pressed his lips to the soft skin for a moment without really thinking about it and heard the man's breath catch, feeling him freeze.

"Sam?" Gabriel whispered breathlessly. A mixture of nervousness and what could possibly be described as fear.

Sam pressed forward again, not caring that he didn't do guys because the world had already fallen to pieces and all that shit didn't matter and he just wanted in these last few moments something human. Some kind of connection. That it was Gabriel just kind of felt karmic, he'd been the first ' _person_ _'_ Sam had ever kissed, so it was only right that he should be the last.

He kept his eyes closed as he lifted his hand to the side of the shorter man's face, fearing if he looked at him now, he'd stop. But to his amazement the feel of coarse rough facial hair scratching his palm didn't seem to affect him at all, or shock him out of the Twilight zone he was floating in.

Lifting his face from the crook of Gabriel's neck, he turned the other man's until their lips brushed. There was another caught breath and Sam found his thumb brushing lightly at the beard, a gentle warmth in his chest and a small smile pulling at his lips. After a few sweeps of his thumb, Sam's hand slid around to the back of Gabriel's head, angling it just so and allowing his fingers to play lightly with the hairs they found there. With his eyes closed Sam could almost believe he was pressing his lips to Katherine's again, the taste was the same, familiar and strong, causing his heart to sing with the memory. Except there was rough hair against his lips and chin. But that didn't upend preceding, because this felt good.

Gabriel couldn't move, too shocked and overwhelmed by Sam's sudden display. It felt good though, no not good, wonderful, brilliant, like paradise. Just as he'd hoped it would, dreamed it would if he ever got the chance to finish what they'd started in High School, but it had always been a fantasy, something he clung onto over the years, knowing - believing - it could never happen.

And now it was. In a silent beautiful garden surrounded by the crumbling remains of humanity, in a world doomed and hopeless. In the last days, maybe even hours of existence, this was when fate decided to give him one last chance.

Something clicked in him then, desperation maybe. The fingers that had been absently combing through Sam's over long hair in an act of comfort, now tightened, holding on as Gabriel angled his lips to Sam's, opening them beneath him and sucking on the man's lower lip. Sam responded instantly, his tongue moving inside the warm sweet place, deepening the kiss with equal desperation. Gabriel knew what was happening without needing to hear it and he didn't care. It was his fault Sam was in this position in the first place, so it was the least he could do. - And if it made him feel something akin to being alive, shot him for being selfish.

The kiss grew sloppy and heated. Sam pulling Gabriel flush against him, needing more and Gabriel went without protest, wishing he had a vessel that met Sam's impossible height.

Neither of them knew quiet how they found themselves pressed against a tree, but it was welcome as Sam reached down and heaved a surprisingly light Gabriel off his feet. The man's legs and arms snaking around him for purchase, dragging him closer.

Sam had the fleeting thought that Dean was never going to let him live humping an archangel - ex-archangel - down and it sent a painful spike thought his chest, and he bit into Gabriel's lips and snapped his hips to distract himself. The smaller man moaned into his mouth, panting hard when they separated their swollen lips long enough to take in some air, and his pelvis ground down against Sam's, sending sparks of heat through his whole body.

Five years with no physical contact and not even the vague memory of Lucifer having any either gave him the sense of a thirsty man suddenly presented with a lake. His hands clung onto Gabriel's hips, feeling them move against him, before he slid his palms up the smaller but equally as strong body and under the shirt to touch blazing flesh. Whether it had been on purpose or by accident he couldn't tell, and he didn't care. It was warm alive flesh and that was all that mattered.

They kept moving, panting, kissing until Sam felt the pull on the line and then there was panic. He didn't want to go back, didn't want to let go. "No." He groaned into Gabriel's mouth. "No. No. No."

The ex-angel pulled his head back to meet the panicked hazel eyes, his own amber ones filled with confusion then concern and finally fear.

"I…I don't want to go." Sam whispered desperately, his hands clinging tight to Gabriel's naked sides, as he felt himself losing his grip on reality. "I….can't go back there." tears pooled in his eyes, slipping from their corners.

Gabriel felt his heart shatter at the sight. A dizzy feeling making his stomach fill with bile and causing his body to shake. He pulled Sam closer, wrapping his arms around him tight, his fingers holding on painfully to the younger man's hair as he pressed their foreheads together, his own tears slipping down his face.

"Gabriel." Sam whispered brokenly. It wasn't a plea, or a reprimand or even a scold. It was a prayer, something the archangel hadn't heard in years.

He pressed a kiss to the younger man's lips, whispering back to him softly. "Stay. Fight to hold on." he could feel the struggle going on in Sam, felt the tears continuing to fall both from Sam's and his own eyes, blending together. "Sam?" he whispered nervously, terrified of losing him too soon.

They were still wrapped around each other, still clinging on desperately. "Gabe." Sam said breathlessly, the fight to stay growing harder.

"Sam." Gabriel all but whispered into the giant's ear, tears filling his throat. He had to swallow hard to speak again. "I'm sorry Sam. - I lo…."

Sam cut him off with another kiss, whether because he didn't want to hear what the ex-archangel was going to say or because he felt the same, Gabriel was too scared to ask.

His hand was shaking as he lifted it from Sam's back. He was surprised to see the blade still resting against his palm, a gleam of fading sunlight bouncing off it. He could barely see it though the blur of tears, his heart pounding against his ribs.

"I loved you once." Sam whispered painfully, his voice stained as he fought to stay in control of his body.

Gabriel swallowed more tears. "I….I never…." his fingers tightened around the blade. "S-stopped." he murmured brokenly, squeezing his eyes closed.

There was a pained yell and a single tear slide from beneath Gabriel's closed lashes as bright white light shone through the lids. His heart was pounding uncontrollably and he heard his name on that startled anguished cry, along with what sounded like _"Why?"_ He thought the name was a dying prayer from Sam, while the question was Lucifer. He hoped that's what it was, hoped Same understood what he'd done, what he'd given him.

As the light died and Sam's body lost all strength they collapsed into the dirt, Gabriel landing atop the young Winchester's lifeless body. He didn't move, dropping his head against the motionless chest, he wept while his body continued to shake and tremble and shatter apart under the grief.

He didn't know how long he lay there, but it was almost dark when he finally lifted his head, looking down at Sam's cold dead face, Gabriel's heart having already stopped beating, or at least he wished it had. He lent forward, pressing a kiss to the man's lips and forehead, murmuring . "You're free now Sammy." with a tight broken voice.

Taking a few deep breaths, Gabriel lifted his gaze to the heavens as humans thought of it. Though really the only thing beyond the sky was dark empty space but the idea of heaven being about, of loved ones looking down on you was romantic and beautiful, so he stuck with it. "Open them up now!" he called upwards, knowing his brothers can hear him, even if he is no longer an angel. "Open the gates and let them in. It's over! No one wins, we all loose, so stop being a bunch of dicks and give them peace. - _All_ of them." he finish with a murmur, glancing down at Sam and think of all those that had died, of Cass and Dean. He didn't want to think of any of them spending eternity in the veil or purgatory. They deserved paradise after being forced to playing their parts in heavens pissing contest.

Gabriel knew he would never know if heaven had granted his demand, not until he found himself in purgatory. He glanced at the blade nestled on the green grass, tempted to finally finish it after all, he was going to purgatory anyway, so what was suicide to him.

He was reaching for the blade when the familiar movement of air behind him caught his attention, he closed his eyes for a long second, taking a deep breath and preparing himself to face whichever of his brother had finally decided to show his face on earth after four and a half years. Slowly he clambered to his feet, his hand clenched tightly around the blade, as anger flooded him afresh. He turned slowly, his spine straight and ready to fight only to be pulled up short at the sight of the older man.

His fingers relaxed, his whole body becoming loose and unthreatening at the sight of a familiar almost fatherly smile that had always touched something inside him.

"Gabriel." the older man nodded, his deep baritone voice echoing in the silence.

"Joshua." Gabriel murmured gently, almost like a child.

Joshua looked from him to the body at his feet, then back again to meet Gabriel swollen blood shot amber eyes. "I'm sorry." he sighed sadly.

Gabriel didn't reply for a long moment, unsure if his voice would break. "So….what now?" he finally whispered.

Joshua stepped around the garden to the rose bush Lucifer had been examining when Gabriel had arrived. He looked impressed and disgusted at the same moment. "They have a chance." he murmured after a few moments.

Gabriel stiffen. "Who? Humanity? - Unlikely, there are too many Croats and demons and no one to lead them." he looked painfully down at Sam again, his heart arching and his throat filling with tears. Damn human emotions.

Joshua turned sharply and fixed the fallen angel with a stony stare.

It took Gabriel a few very long, very silent minutes to figure out what Joshua was inferring. "Me? - _Me_?" he shook his head. "Are you serious? I'm just a man now!" he sounded panicked and broken.

Joshua nodded sadly. "That's all you need to be Gabriel. - You were a solider once and your loyalty is obvious. - And if you can sacrifice the one person you've ever loved…."

Gabriel shook his head again;. "I didn't sacrifice him, Joshua. I let him go, I freed him from the cruel grip of my brother. - Because if I had stepped in sooner, if I'd said something before, in plain blunt English none of this would have happened."

Joshua shrugged. "Maybe." he sighed, turning back to the bush, leaving them in an awkward silence.

"So what?" Gabriel said, unable to stand it any longer. "Dad going to give me back my wings and send me off to bring humanity the message of salvation?" he scoffed.

Joshua shook his head. "No. - You'll have no wings."

Gabriel glanced down at his feet, thrusting his free hand in his pocket while the other tighten around the angel blade. "So I haven't been forgiven?"

Joshua didn't answer straight away. "There….is nothing to forgive, Gabriel."

The ex-archangel scoffed. "Right, so skipping town and shaking up with the wrong crowded didn't piss dad off?"

Joshua paused again. "You still don't see it, do you?" the old man sighed.

Gabriel frowned over at him. "Huh?"

Joshua turned, meeting the amber eyes with solid dark brown ones. "Someone had to fight for them." he nodded to no-one in specific.

Gabriel narrowed his gaze cautiously. "I….thought that was…..why….Castiel…"

Joshua shook his head. "Castiel was…..sent for another reason, to save Dean, to help Dean. - To keep him fighting. - You're father sent _you_ , or let you go to be more accurate, to save humanity itself."

Gabriel swallowed hard, unable to believe it, shaking his head. "That's insane. No way."

Joshua rolled his eyes. "Is it?"

Gabriel paced the small garden because he couldn't think what else to do, his mind whirling over itself. He thought, he was sure his father had been furious at him. Suddenly he stopped short, spinning around and fixing the older man with a hard look. "Did he…." he glanced down at Sam's body for a second. "….set me up?"

Joshua frowned, not understand.

"Was he the reason I was…." he waved a hand at the body, not darning to look at it again. "….so I could….did he set me up!"

Joshua finally caught onto Gabriel accusation and shook his head. "No, Gabriel. - What you had and felt for Sam Winchester was purely your own doing, just as Castiel's love for Dean Winchester was his."

Gabriel stiffened, swallowing.

"You're meeting with Sam all those years ago was not by design."

Gabriel scoffed. "Everything's by design, isn't it?"

Joshua rolled his eyes again. "Not everything. - This wasn't. No matter what Michael, Lucifer and the others believe. You're father never meant for this."

"Well, then maybe he shouldn't have feed them that whole finale judgement crap." Gabriel snapped angrily.

Joshua didn't reply.

They were silent again, Gabriel glancing up at the stars longingly, wishfully and mournfully.

"Their there." Joshua whispered.

"Huh, what?"

"The gates were opened the moment Lucifer…..All the soul that have spent the past five years trapped in the veil were brought home."

Gabriel swallowed, nodding. He wanted to ask, wanted to be sure but was too scared to hear they hadn't forgiven Sam ,Dean and Cass.

"They are there too." Joshua said, reading his mind.

Gabriel's whole body slumped forward. "So…." he sighed, feeling relief and tiredness flood him. "…if dad sent me here, why isn't he giving me back my wings."

"Because you don't need them. - You're work here isn't done."

"And when I've saved the world?" Gabriel asked, glancing over his shoulder.

"You'll come home."

Gabriel took a sharp breath. Home? Was it really that anymore? He closed his eyes and thought back to heaven, what little he could remember of it, and a sad smile crossed his lips. He looked up at the sky once more and silently whispered a prayer that Sam would be safe and happy.

"You'll see him again Gabriel." Joshua said.

When the ex-archangel turned to look at the older man he was gone, and so was the garden. Gabriel looked around in confusion, a deep frown forming between his brows.

"G-Gabriel?" said a nervous stuttering voice.

He snapped around to see the uncertain gaze of the man he knew as the prophet. He glanced about him again and realised where he was. The Camp, Dean and Cass' camp. The survivors' camp. He closed his eyes for a second before turning back to the bearded scruffy man. "So prophet, where's the head honchos hut?"

The prophet stared at him.

Gabriel sighed. "I'm the boss now. Dean and Cass….didn't make it."

The man's eyes widened and glassed over. "Oh….are you…?" he looked around at the camp.

"Don't worry proph….what the hell's your name again?"

"Chuck." he swallowed.

"Right, don't worry Chuck, I'm not an archangel any more, just a plan everyday maggot. Turns out it's my calling to take over from Deano and save the world."

Chuck looked at him disbelievingly. "Huh…."

Gabriel took a step forward and smirked when Chuck froze. He threw a arm around the man's shoulders. "We've got a lot of work Chucky and I'm not exactly up on how this whole leading a bunch of humans and rebuilding the world thing goes, so I'm going to need a second. What you say?"

Chuck was frowning again, shifting under the weight of Gabriel's arm. "Oh, um, huh…."

"Excellently said." Gabriel slapped his shoulder. "So, hut?"

Chuck pointed in the distance silently and Gabriel started walking. He paused a few feet away. "Oh, Chucky?"

"Yeah?" he managed, barely.

"Better let everyone know about Dean and Cass, and the change in leadership…." he paused again, glancing up at the sky, feeling a warm inside him. Hoping Sam was looking down, watching over him. "…you…..better tell them that…." he met Chuck's gaze hard. "…The devil's dead." he said coldly and turned to walk away, Chuck's gaze burning into his back.

He reached Dean cabin quickly, rushed inside and fell down onto the bed, dropping his head into his hands and took a deep breath. He could do this. He knew he could do it. Save the world and go home. - To Sam. Easy. Simple.

He lifted his head and blinked back fresh tears, finding a small scrap of paper at his feet. Reaching down he picked it up and stared at it.

_**I never stopped loving you.** _

Gabriel's heart leapt into his throat at the echo of his own words on the paper. He didn't know who'd written it. Maybe it was Dean's last ditched attempt to tell Cass what he should have said years ago. But part of Gabriel wanted to believe that it was a message from Sam. That's why he folded the paper and slipped it into the breast pocket of his jacket and got to his feet. Taking a deep breath, swallowing his tears, he marched off to save the world.


End file.
